Thought process of a Panda

Jacksonville Camping

2008-10-13T03:15:06Z

It was great!. I am sore, i am sunburned, i am itchy, but it was worth it!. Almost everybody there was awesome, especially Tara, Jeff, and Bob. And both jeff and bob are kinda cute...

So Jeff and Tara and I went fishing and i caught the ugliest fish i have ever seen. I think it was the spawn of satan. We still dont know what it was. I almost caught flounder twice but the bastards escaped three feet from me, which kinda sucked cause Tara and I really wanted some flounder for dinner.

A bunch of us also took Tara's truck onto a ferry and went to this little fishy (not creepy fishy, just fishy fishy) resturant that had excellent food. I also tried gator for the first time there. It was a bit chewy but i liked the taste.

Also, everyone called me Cam, without asking or anything, and I really liked it. I have missed that nickname. It brought back good memories and now i have new memories to go with it too.

I still wish Jax had come, i really missed her.

Oh and my tent did well, even when it rained! yay new tent!!

we also almost got into a car crash cause when i pulled out of the park some idiot SPED UP and almost hit us. the fuckers. when i got home today i took a nice long nap and dreamt about kayaking with tara and jax and alex. it was weird, but a good dream overall.

i still havent eaten since breakfast.

i wish she had come....

bad day

2008-10-09T02:51:31Z

so i woke up late today, then discovered half of my lab report rough draft disappeared on my computer, and then as i was flipping out i missed the bus and then i was so upset i just curled up on the couch and cried. then the cat wouldn't come comfort me at all, he just avoided me.

but then i went and picked up michelle and we hung out for a bit and made mac and cheese and that helped. then i went to west civ which was entertaining, like usual. i decided to drop my govt class cause its mixed mode meaning half online and it was just very frustrating and horrible.

on another note, i feel like she's avoiding me. it might just be me, but i have no idea. i didn't get to see her today cause of everything and that made me even sadder. and now she might not go camping this weekend. however, if she doesn't, she will be going to the dog trials next next weekend.

also, i went to the Outlanders meeting last night and everybody seemed really cool, well, except for a know-it-all kid, but thats ok its just one kid. then afterwards Lauren invited me, Drew, and Steven over to her place to make and eat tacos! This is a whole new aspect of college for me, going over to people's houses and having fun, and i'm loving every minute of it. Monday night i went over to alex's and we made chicken nachos. He put a lot of spicy veggies on it but i just wiped the majority of that crap off and it was tasty again. he also bought some white wine but i didn't like it at all. then we watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium with his roommate, which was pretty amusing because they both liked it and they're both 20 something dudes!

also, i get the magic digital tv box back again next week because apparently its cheaper than what ive got now! and i get a free month of hbo and such! wooooooooot!

Weekend in Summary

2008-10-06T06:04:58Z

Wow, this weekend was amazing.

Friday:

Friday around 4 Alex came and picked me up and we headed over to find the canoes on campus. After some general confusion we found them along with 3 other Outlanders, Steven, Drew, and Lauren. They were all really nice and cool. No one else showed up so we loaded up the canoes, including one on Alex's poor new BMW, which looked hilarious.

30min later we arrived at the Econ River and unloaded, took some pictures, and then Alex, Drew, and Lauren went off to drop one car off at the ending point and get some drinks and flashlights while Steven and I dragged the damn canoes down to the launch. That part SUCKED, i was literally dragging a canoe down a hill and a stretch of grass by myself, it looked pathetic. Then Steven and I talked while we waited for the others to get back. He's really cool and funny and looks like Phil of the Future, which i find highly amusing. Then they finally came back with some lights, a bottle of water, and a 12pack of Coronas.

Now, I have never had alcohol before besides a sip or two of champagne. After much debating in my head, I took a corona and ended up only drinking about half of it, with Alex finishing it for me. I wasn't really that impressed with it taste wise. But i drank it anyways. Felt a tiny bit of a buzz, but barely.

The trip itself was quite long, about 4 1/2 hours through many twists and turns and trying to get over or around the tons of downed logs from previous floods. It got dark about halfway through the trip, which was both beautiful and terrifying. Alex showed me how to look at the trees to see where the river was going, and I caught on pretty quickly. We did take a wrong turn once but we figured it out pretty quick and got back on track. We also saw a cute 3ft alligator that was just chilling and didnt even mind us passing through. We did, however, fun into a lot of bushes and trees and i got covered in nasty wet leaves and bugs and... *shudders* that part was horrible. Alex and I ended up with like 10+ daddy long legs and a baby wolf spider in our canoe.

When we finally landed at the end, it was a huge relief. by then it was like 10 something pm and we were all tired and really hungry. After loading up and getting back Alex and I went back to his place so I could pee and so he could change and then the two of us went to Chilli's. Alex is really great most of the time, even though he's into some stuff i don't like like drugs and cigs. but whatever, he's still cool as a friend, just nothing else.

Overall I was pretty impressed with myself. I was in the back of the canoe so i did most of the work, especially once alex got tipsy and stopped paddling half the time. I really didnt expect to do so well, and I'm proud of myself for not giving up. Even though i hurt like hell the next day, it was all worth it.

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Saturday

I got up reaaaaaalllllly late Saturday like 3-4pm and then just hung out until like 8 when Michelle, Charlie, and I went and saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. I really liked it and would like to see it again soon. Charlie didnt like it as much but that didnt surprise me, he can always find something he doesnt like about something. He is so frustrating sometimes! ughhhhh. We disagree on just about anything and everything and it just gets so tiring. He is so set in his ways and ideals and he doesnt care if you have a different opinion, because you're obviously just wrong. But then we went back to their place and played some podracing and mario party and that was good, except i totally sucked at mario party for some reason that night. then all of a sudden it was like 2am so they took me home. all in all it was a pretty good night.

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Sunday

Woke up late again, and then headed to Yari's for the baby shower. I finally got to meet the father, the guy i've been hearing about for like over a year. And i also got to meet Yari's other friend Jennifer, who was really cool and funny and down to earth. It was wonderful to see baby Robert, of course, and I was itching almost all night to hold him. He really seems to enjoy me and likes to look at me a lot, and he doesn't really do that to anyone else besides his parents. He is such a wonderful baby, so wonderful and quiet and small. He is already holding his binky and even grabbed his bottle today, and he's only a week old! He's gonna be a genius, i tell you. The party was small and casual, the only problem was that everybody except me and big Robert speaks fluent spanish, which i find very hard to deal with since i speak none. But Yari's adorable gramma wants to teach me and i think i may take a class on it next semester, since i'm going to be over there a lot more now that Robby is there. I'm hoping to go there every tuesday i dont have appointments and such, since i don't have classes on tuesdays. I love my godson so much.

swimming

2008-10-02T23:39:15Z

i've decided to start swimming before/after school every day. i went today to the one at the apt and god have i missed it! I have always felt at home in the water, and i'd almost forgotten how much i love it. life is so much better in water.

hm

2008-09-29T17:24:16Z

i keep forgetting about this thing. i really should use it.

Yari had a child. His name is Robert. I am one of three godmothers and i'm very excited to see him.

but i still cant get HER out of my head. i wish i could, there's no use on focusing on what you can't have.

why?

2008-09-29T17:22:27Z

Why is it that anytime I like someone, they are not interested or already taken???? I meet an amazing girl and think I have a chance, and then, WHAM, she already has a girlfriend. ugh. it makes me wonder why I get my hopes up every time. It doesn't matter whether its a guy or a girl, this ALWAYS happens. Why can't I have her, God? She's perfect, and I know you really do love me even if I do like girls.

And another thing, I wish I could tell all my friends my true feelings about this girl without the fear of being judged. I've had some of these friends for a long time, but if they knew, it wouldn't surprise me that they didn't understand or even stopped wanting to hang out with me just because of my sexual orientation. I'm tired of hiding, but fearful of showing my true self.

Oh, and not only is she taken, but her girlfriend got upset that we studied and watched V for Vendetta together. Its not like anything happened, or would happen if we hung out again. I don't think she'd cheat, and no matter how much I like her, I wouldn't want her to cheat either. Even if it means I can't have her.

And she has like 5 classes and works 30-40 hrs a week.

ugh

today rocked

2008-05-08T02:14:29Z

so i hung out with jer all day today, it was great. first we went to bcc and jer got the low down on getting in, then we ate at dennys (yum!) and went to petsmart to look at what hopefully is my future kitty. then we saw Iron Man, which was freaking awesome!!!!! after that we headed back to his house and hung out. i love his cat, hes hilarious!

???

2008-05-07T04:06:57Z

i dunno where he is. did i do something wrong?

ughhhh, i miss my food

2008-05-06T04:15:52Z

so i went to the nutritionist today to help me in my quest to lose weight and get healthy. im only allowed 1300 calories a day, which isnt too bad when u map it out, but i can no longer have my apple jacks, fruity pebbles, etc! and i can only have 4oz of juice a day! i love juice! dammit! we'll see how this goes. i have a pretty high metabolism so i'll prolly lose weight quickly, hopefully. i already lost 2lbs just by switching my frozen meals to lean cuisine, only drinking soda when out, and eating yogurt instead of pudding. what funn.... i want phish food so bad right now....

and to top it all off i have an appt with the "bad" doctor tmw, u ladies know what im talkin about. seriously, i dont understand why anyone besides a pervert would want that job, its so awkward! ughhhhhhh, damn womanhood...

tonight was interesting

2008-05-05T02:54:49Z

so my mom decided to goof off and flip over a big chair in my living room, and of course that idea backfired. instead of her going over the chair, both she and the chair went back and landed on the floor. then her big toe was hurting really bad so i took her to the ER where we spent 4hrs people watching and watching Trauma: Life in the ER (ironic i know) to learn she cracked her toe in two places. now she has a foot brace and crutches and i have to drive her around everywhere. what a lovely sunday evening. seriously though, watching her flip over was the highlight of my day, one the funniest things ive ever seen. thats what u get when u goof off and ur accident prone, folks

blah

2008-05-04T19:39:13Z

im so bored. blah. im falling for a guy whos taken, what a suprise. and the girl hes with is the girl who made the first few years of school hell for me. weird. it sucks. i need a cat. i need a job. ughhhhhhh! life is so frustrating! then theres another guy who really likes me, but i dont know how i feel about him. i think my minds too wrapped up in certain dude that i cant imagine any others.

i hate being here in my house. all my good stuff is up in orlando. i need my computer games!

soon it will be the one year anniversery of Asia's death. I dont know how well that day is gonna go over. i still dont have a cat, and it kills me. this is the first time in my life i havent had one. asia was like my security blanket, and im just not ready to let go yet. i miss her every minute of every day.